just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
