I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize