filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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