My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
