I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
