We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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