i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
