If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
