I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
