We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize