That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize
