i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
