Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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