I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
