I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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