Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
