I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
