well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
