So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize