your thong is hanging out like whoa
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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