She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
