Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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