I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
