and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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