doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
