This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
