What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
