hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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