I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
