Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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