I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
