I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
