I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
