Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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