I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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