Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Houston, we have a blender
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
