Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize