The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
