There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
