This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
