you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
