I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
