I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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