quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
