Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
