I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
