Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I love you. Go after that dick
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
