But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
