my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
