i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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