what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
