Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
