he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
