Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
