Sponge bath it is.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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