her vagine was all disorganized.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
