oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
