remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
