I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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